Finding the Right Words To Say I'm Sorry
by lostinphotoshop
Summary: Kim has many regrets about the letter and a not so little secret. Will she face Tommy and can she ever find the right way to say "I'm sorry"?
1. Chapter 1: The Call

**Finding The Right Words to Say I'm Sorry**

It'd been nearly five years since she wrote that letter. She'd hated it the second she finished putting pen to paper, even more when she mailed it out. As much as it pained her, Kimberly had to send it. It was full of anything she could think of to keep Tommy away. She loved him too much to make him say in Angel Grove un-happy and waiting for her while she was out here in Florida living the dreams. It killed them both, there was no doubt but it was done. So long ago in fact, she figured he just didn't care anymore, five years had passed and not one word from him. Kim knew she broke his heart and deep down saw no reason why she deserved his forgiveness. In all honesty, how could she expect him to forgive what she did and said when she never forgave herself? He deserved a girl who knew what she had and wouldn't screw it up the way she did.

Kim was ripped away from her thoughts when a little boy popped up behind her, nearly scaring the life out of her. "Owen Thomas! What are you doing up? It's almost 3:30 AM?" "Mommy, I couldn't sleep… the rain. I'm scared." said the little boy. Kim felt terrible; she had been so lost she hadn't even noticed the hurricane like storm that clearly frightened her four year old son. "C'mon sweetie, we'll get you some milk and back to bed you go mister!" "Okay," he mumbled as he was following his mother into the kitchen, still groggy. As promised after he got his drink he went right back up to bed, though he did manage to sucker one last bedtime story out of his mother. Midway through he was out cold. Kim tucked him in and quietly tip-toed out of his room, being sure to turn on his dragon nightlight before closing the door. After that, she just sat there for a minute; her mind took barely any time before shifting back to her earlier thoughts. Tommy was running through her mind and she couldn't get him out! This happened from time to time and each time Kimberly nearly lost her mind. It was a safe bet she'd be in tears when ever Tommy popped into her head. Luckily, she had one person she knew would be a sounding board and be strong enough to keep their lips sealed. When these break downs happened, it usually took no more than twenty minutes of non-stop tears before she reached for her phone and scrambled to dial Trini's number.

The phone rang for about two minutes and just when Kim was ready to hang up she heard an all too familiar voice say hello:

_**Hello?**  
><strong>Hey <strong>_Kim said trying to hide her tears, which never worked anyway, her best friend knew her too well  
><strong><em>Kim is it happening again? <em>**Trini asked worried, she didn't see how Kim went on like this, or how much longer she could for that matter.  
><strong><em>What do you mean? <em>**Kim played dumb.  
><strong><em>You're thinking of, or should I say consumed with Tommy again, I know you. <em>**Trini shot back before Kim could try and play her some more.  
><strong><em>How am I not supposed to? <em>**Kim snapped before trailing off. _**Owen laughs I hear his father, he smiles and I see a smile I fell in love with, he dives into the deep end of the pool and I know where the reckless abandon comes from.**  
><strong>You have that quality too you know, last time I checked you can't be a chicken shit and be a Pan Globe level gymnast! <strong>_Her friend interrupted her rant.  
><strong><em>Not like this, it's different, it's Tommy. HE'S TOMMY! You wouldn't believe it Tri, he looks and acts just like Tommy in every way .It's like the world's cruel way of reminding of what a bitch I am for sending that letter!<em>** Kim sighed frustrated with her mistake.  
><strong><em>Maybe it's time for you to face him. <em>**Trini stated blankly.  
><strong><em>FACE HIM! <em>**Kim's volume grew as she began to lose composer. **_ARE YOU SERISOUS? _She questioned sharply, then lowering her voice before heading back down stairs so she didn't wake her sleeping son. He was having a rough enough time sleeping as it were.**_** I cannot face him. Do you want to know what made me call? Turning on Owen's little dragon nightlight.**  
><strong>A dragon Kim? Really? 'Cause that's not going to upset you or anything.<strong>_ She mocked in only a way a best friend could get away with.  
><strong><em>I guess I wanted him to have a part of his daddy with him. <em>**Supplied Kim hoping it was enough, if not it was the best she could come up with.  
><strong><em>If you two were back here he would have him ALL THE TIME<em>.** Trini was quick to counter.  
>Her best friend knew she was right and HATED IT. <strong><em>So what am I supposed to do? Show up at Tommy's door Owen in toe and say HEY! I broke up with you in the most in the coldest way possible Oh and by the way here's the son I never bothered to let you know you had and expect him to move us in with open arms? <em>** Kim proposed, clearly disgusted with her actions in regards both her brake up and keeping her little boy hidden.

**_No, you could come stay with me, I have to meet my nephew someday anyway and when you decide you're ready to let them meet you can. Besides I don't think you can take much more of being alone while you try and sort this all out. _**Offered Trini.  
><em><strong>Uh, I'm not so sure I'm ready for all that.<strong>  
><strong>Fine, why don't you sleep on it and call me tomorrow, or in a couple of days if you need.<strong>_  
>Kim couldn't shoot down such a kind offer, so she agreed to at least consider coming back.<br>_**I guess I'm gonna try and get some rest now. He'll be up soon for the day anyway, 7 AM like clockwork, it never fails.**  
><strong>Then you better get to bed and fast, it's past five already.<strong>_ Her friend informed her.  
><strong><em>Alright Tri, love you! And thanks again, I don't know what I would've done all these years without you. <em>**She said with a heavy sigh.  
><strong><em>Check into a permanent residence at the nearest mental hospital? <em>**Again a comment only the best friend could get away with.  
>The stressed young mother let out a laugh for the first time, <strong><em>Probably very true, good night.<br>Got you to laugh, mission accomplished, well part of it, love you good night._**

The girls hung up and Kim didn't even bother to move, she just laid back on the sofa and eventually passed out for the night.


	2. Chapter 2: A Nervous Surprise

_Chapter two_

Trini began to worry, a couple of weeks had passed and not a word from Kim. As busy a woman was the girls should have managed at least _one_ phone call by now. Trini had hoped she hadn't angered her best friend; she did press her a bit have her bring Owen home to meet his father. It was meant to give her the courage to do something anyone who knew Kim could tell she wanted to do. The guilt within was making Trini's heart ache. Finally, she couldn't bare it and felt like a simple phone call wouldn't due. _If Kim isn't ready to bring Owen home, I'm going to bring a bit of home to them … In the form of her! _Trini thought to herself excitedly Without giving the others the slightest hint or letting any of them know she was up to anything at all, her flight to Florida was booked for the next morning, figuring it were best that way._ Ugh, I REALLY wish they had something, ANYTHING earlier! _The frustrated young woman muttered as she rummaged through dresser to pack a bag for at least a few days! While Trini's ultimate goal was to bring her best friend and nephew home, at the least she wanted to spend some time with them! Owen was four, nearly five and she hadn't seen met him yet. Not to mention, Kimberly was six months pregnant the last time they were face to face (an image she still couldn't shake from her mind, it was too surreal, little tiny Kimberly Heart with this big giant belly.) Bags all packed by eleven thirty Trini rushed to bed, hoping for no visitors or rather interruptions in the morning, she simply couldn't risk it.

The alarm sounded at five AM sharp. Though, it was not needed, Trini was up and about already. She barely got any sleep. Three hours if she was lucky. Time moved at a speed slower than a snail, if that were even possible! It seemed to take a year and a day for it to be six thirty so the impatient and worried friend could jolt out of the house. Pacing back and forth in the lounge, hoping she didn't look suspicious Trini anxiously awaited her call to board the flight, lucky for her in came quick. _I just hope this flight goes by quicker than the morning hours did!_ Trini thought to herself as she plopped down into the window seat getting ready for what was positively going to feel like an eternity. Gazing out the window she began to contemplate what seeing her best friend after all this time would be like. _Would there be screaming in the likeness of their teenage selves? Cold there be slamming doors? Tears? Hugs? _The scenarios rapidly accumulated in the young woman's head. So much so, the flight attendant broke her from her musings.

"Excuse me, miss? Everything okay over here?" The gentle voiced woman received no response.  
>"Miss…" The woman called out in a slightly more vocal tone hoping that would break the spell the passenger's thoughts seemed to have on her mind. Still she got nothing.<br>The airline employee was beginning to worry, usually the passengers requested something from her by now, that or at least replied.  
>"Ma'am?" The concerned woman leaned in a bit closer but making certain not to invade the almost non-existent personal space of the plain, again nothing.<br>At the risk of disturbing the perplexed young woman before her, the flight attendant tapped her shoulder as gently as she could.  
>Of course Trini was completely startled, "What? Huh?" She questioned as if she had absolutely no idea where she was.<br>"Do you need anything? I've been trying to ask for about five minutes." The woman said in as kind a voice Trini had ever herd.  
>"Nope everything is fine, thanks." She replied warmly<br>"You sure? You were quite unresponsive. Had me worried for a second."  
>"Yup. Just kinda nervous about my trip I guess. Happens to everyone doesn't it?"<br>"Pretty much, though your's seemed to be a bit more."  
>"Ma'am I'm okay, I promise. We won't need emergency kits or anything if that's what you're thinking."<br>"Well, alright then. If you need anything buzz me."  
>A simple "Wil do." Left Trini's lips with a thankful smile and the attendant was gone.<p>

Her thoughts then shifted to Owen, her nearly five year old mystery of a nephew. _What's he like? I mean Kim says he's like Tommy but I just wonder what exact combination of those two could he be? Kim's smile with Tommy's eyes? Tommy's smile with Kim's laugh? Tommy's hair with Kim's eyes? _The possibilities were never ending but one thing was for sure he was one amazing kid. Trini must have been day dreaming much longer than she ever considered because, next thing she knew her plain had landed in Florida! Now came the fun part of collecting herself, getting a taxi, and remaining calm! _Seeing my BEST FRIEND should NOT frighten me this much!_ She reminded herself as she hopped in the cab to Kim's.

_Hi! SURPISE Kim! Hey stranger! _The numerous greetings floated around Trini's mind, as if she were rehearsing them as she strolled down the hallway of the modest, apartment Kim rented. _STOP IT! THIS IS KIM! _ She scolded herself! Finally she reached the door, letting a faint tap hit. She told herself she was just being careful not to disturb them or wake Owen. If he was a sleep, If he had his parents' energy, he hated naps.  
>Inside the apartment Kimberly thought she heard a knock at the door but it went away so she shook it off. After hearing it three more time, she decided she wasn't crazy, glanced at her sleeping son on the couch with his favorite blanket thrown over him and went for the door. Trini was so frozen with nerves that she didn't even realize Kim was coming, let alone in front of her until she heard a loud teenage esque screech:<p>

"OH. MY. GOD! Tri! What on earth are you doing here?"  
>"I – I've missed you. It's been what? Four and a half years?" She questioned<br>"Too long if you ask me."  
>"Definitely."<br>"What? No hug?" Kim asked sarcastically with a slight eye roll.  
><em>Trini's only response was to hug her best friend seemingly trying to make up for missed time with one hug.<br>"Come in, Owen's asleep, been knocked out for an hour."  
>"More like was, I think we woke him with our teenage yelps."<br>-_

"_Mommy? What's all the yelling?" The tike hollered from the couch.  
>"Oh nothing sweetie, but there is someone I want you to meet."<br>_He didn't respond, just tried to rub his sleepy eyes.  
>"Sweetheart, this is Trini, mommy's best friend in the entire world" A wide smile appeared on Kim's face.<br>Trini just smiled and politely said hello. She didn't want to frighten the boy.  
>"TE-NEE!" The young boy yelled, the adults were pretty sure the entire state had herd him.<br>Trini was stunned, she was absolutely sure Kim didn't tell Owen about her friends from back home for fear of getting questions she wasn't ready to answer.  
>"I told him all about you." Kim whispered.<br>"You did?" Trini let the tears trickle down she was so touched.  
>"Don't cry." Owen squeaked out, "I'm glad you're here, mommy needs a friend. She's going coo coo, like she had too much Cacao Puffs or something!'"<br>"You watch it mister!" Kim said as she reached playfully for her son.

With that Trini joined her best friend and nephew on the couch and started to catch up.


	3. Chapter 3: Going From Bad To Worse

_Chapter three_

Tommy lay on his bed holding that infamous letter in his hands when all of a sudden Jason bust through his door. _Ugh sometimes I hate having him for a roommate! _Tommy fumbled the paper hoping Jason didn't catch on to what he had, the mood he was in he wasn't up for the "why do you still have that thing?" lecture today! He'd herd it so many times he could recite it forwards and backwards.

"Not again!" Jason rolled his eyes,  
>"Look, Jase, not now ok?"<br>"Then when? You're never going to get rid of that thing are you?"  
>"I will, just not now." Tommy knew deep in his heart that the only reason he had not torn that paper to tiny shreds was, in his eyes it meant letting go of Kim forever.<br>"Well anyway," Tommy said in an attempt to remove the topic of Kim from the conversation "What'd you come barging in here for?"  
>"Came to get some stuff to re-fuel with, me, Rocky, and Adam just played one hell of a game of horse." Jason said, his words dripping with sarcasm.<br>"Horse? What are you guys? Ten?" Tommy mocked.  
>"Oh yeah big shot? Ya wanna come make it a man's game and play some two on two? THAT is why I came here. I mean unless you're busy…"<br>"Nah, just not fellin' like it right now."  
>"C'mon help me beat those two!"<br>"Told ya, I don't wanna."  
>"Oh, so you're just gonna sit here and daydream of Kim?"<br>Tommy was silent. He couldn't deny where his thoughts are, and even if he tried Jason would bust him and never let him live it down.  
>"Will it shut you up?"<br>"No. I'll shut when you go find Kim and get what you want."  
>"So wait. You'll shut up when I find Kim?"<br>"Right now, I just wanna play some ball."  
>"Alight, let's go. Just keep your mouth shut about me and Kim."<p>

_AT THE BASKETBALL COURTS_

"You guys ready to get beat?" Jason announced as he entered the basketball courts, Tommy close behind.  
>"Look what decided to leave the land of the lonesome today." Adam remarked.<br>"You got jokes? Let's just play ball!  
>"Chill man. Let's just have some fun." Rocky said.<br>"Yea let's just beat them already. Quickest way to shut 'em up."

The guys were playing; Rocky and Adam were up by ten points which wasn't normal. On any given day Tommy and Jason would've beat them eyes closed. Something was off about Tommy and it wasn't just basketball. It was pretty obvious to anyone that knew him the only cure was to see Kim.

After what seemed like a rough game Jason figured maybe some guy time would help

"Hey T, wanna go watch the game on the big screen at Ernie's?"[Ernie had opened a sports bar, and left his nephews working the later hours at the youth center. He couldn't seem let go of the teens as they grew older, so sports bar it was. Plus he was still at the center until six when he took over at bar.]  
>"Nah, I told ya I didn't even wanna come here in the first place." Tommy said somewhat coldly.<br>"C'mon bro. I mean, I love Kim she's my little sister but she let go. You can't let her do to you anymore "  
>"Yeah, Well me and Kim and you and her are two <em><strong>extremely <strong>_different kinds of love. I know her like you never could!" He just stormed ahead without saying another word.  
>"T! Bro!" Jason called to no avail. "FUCK! What did I just do! " Jason knew he made the wrong move going down that road. He thought it'd be better not to go home for now. So it was off to Ernie's for him.<p>

_BACK AT THE APARTMENT_

Tommy walked up two the third floor place he shared with the guys, almost in a trance. He ignored any attempt to get his attention. When he got to his place he slammed the door violently, not caring who had an issue with it. Next thing he knew his fists were hitting the door with a fury that not even he knew he possessed. When the karate expert looked down, the knuckles of both hands were cut open, bloody, and bruised. Still angry he went to the kitchen, grabbed a beer and sat back on the couch in an almost pitch black room. Before he could even think to control his consumption he had somewhere around ten to twelve beers. The numbers didn't seem to faze Tommy; the words Jason said just ran through his head on an infinite loop. _She let go._ At that moment a lone tear came down his cheek and the beer bottle that was in his room was shattered across the room. Without a care, Tommy left his mess.

_MEANWHILE AT THE SPORTS BAR_

Jason sat, head hug low when Adam and Rocky came up holding either side of his shoulder.  
>"Awe, man that down we beat you, huh?" They scoffed.<br>"Psh, you two not a chance. It's Tommy."  
>"Tommy?" Rocky inquired.<br>"I mean I know he was down but…"Adam added in a 'how is that any different' tone.  
>"Yup, well pretty sure I sent him into a tailspin." Jason responded.<br>"You didn't bring up Kim let—"Rocky was cut off.  
>"She's going to come home from Florida and murder you with her bare hands, you know that right?" Adam said half kidding.<br>"Well, it's been what five years?"  
>"She's still going to kill you." They both told him. "Anyone who knows either of them knows they never let go."<br>"Right now, I can take her, it's Tommy I'm worried about." Jason jetted out of the bar with Rocky and Adam tailing him.

Jason arrived at the apartment to see the damage done to the door. He cautiously got his keys out and entered.

"What the hell?" he said with a whisper. Adam and Rocky just stood there frozen.  
>After giving the trashed living room a quick look he slowly walked over to Tommy's room. He cracked the door and without a second thought started dialing his phone.<p> 


End file.
